Thursday, March 3, 2011

Where Is The Love?

“But if you only have love for your own race,

Then you only leave space to discriminate,

And to discriminate only generates hate,

And when you hate then you’re bound to get irate”

The Black Eyed Peas – Where Is The Love?

A simple verse, just 4 lines long conveys a message so strong and profound. The message itself is straight to the point. Racial relations cannot be built if we continue to have hatred, misgivings and suspicions about other races. Where has all the love gone? Looking back decades ago, society was much simpler. People got along well with each other, regardless of colour or creed. When they used to call themselves a community, they meant it in every sense of the word. Now, look how the mighty have fallen. We, the citizens of this beautiful country, look at each other daily, through racially coloured glasses, peering through the mist of misunderstandings created by opportunists, trying so hard to see the faults in others. How did we come to this? Why? I’ll leave those questions for you to ponder. To answer those questions is not my goal in writing this article. In this article, I hope to create a sense of awareness of the need for us to change our ways and emerge from the fog hand in hand to create a better future for ourselves and those that will inherit the future of this nation from us.

Nothing good can ever come out of being a racist. All it does is sow the seeds of mistrust that will eventually grow into a tree of discrimination and misgivings from which we eat the fruit of hate. And the worst part is our children will continue to eat the same fruit as we impart our practises to them. Have you ever witnessed the innocence of a child? How they seem to get along with each other, regardless of the other’s skin colour. At such a young age, there is a gut instinct in each of us to acknowledge another person as a human being and stop there. Nothing else matters. We are one and the same at that age. We lose that innocence as we grow older. I bet you still remember when you were in kindergarten or even in Standard 1 you had so many friends, and you didn’t give a damn about their race. However, as we grew older and were doused with the colours of racist beliefs and practices we instinctively shunned those ‘other’ friends away. We need to get that back. The ability to look at someone as just a human being, nothing more, nothing less.

But, the question is how are we going to do that? To answer that, we must first answer the question, “Why do ornithological specimens of identical plumage congregate in their own approximation?” The reason is simple, they see similarities with each other and those similarities are comforting and we as well seek solace and acceptance in people of our own race. This is what I’d like to call our comfort zone. Now, to answer the first question, in order for us to achieve the ideal of racial harmony, we must step out of our comfort zone. Now, this may a bit difficult and life-changing for some of us. However, we must realise that most great things were done by people who stepped out of their comfort zone. Would Christopher Columbus have discovered America if he did not want to step out of his zone? Would Neil Armstrong have ever set foot on the moon if he did not want to leave Earth? Would our country have gained independence had our forefathers felt comfortable being ruled by the British colonialists? I’m sure you can answer those questions without my help.

This brings us to the next pressing matter, how are we going to step outside our comfort zone? The only way is to do things you’ve never done before. It’ll be difficult, but you must adopt the mindset that it is something that you must do, something that must become second nature, like eating or sleeping. You gotta do what you gotta do."You have to be the change you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi. Remove those racial coloured glasses, blow away the fog, and take a good look at the people around you. Realise that they are human beings too. Make an extra effort to include them in your outings, discussions, and events. Don’t ostracize them. Be nice. Give people a chance. Stop being so judgemental. It’s not your place to judge anyway. Look deep inside and you will realise that they aren’t what you believe them to be. And maybe, they’ll look at you in a different light too. And that’s all it takes. A simple gesture of friendship can last a lifetime.

What does it mean when we say racial harmony? What are the elements that must be present? Well, firstly, it would mean that we do not look at people based on their race anymore, but just the fact that they are Malaysians, just like us. And we’ll be willing to help, to lend a helping hand to those in need without the thought of race ever crossing our minds. We’d interact with one another freely, without bound by the fear that we might say something offensive, for we all would understand each other well. We will be able to once again claim that we truly are a community that cares for its members. Just like in the old days, where racial relations were simple. We’d stand by each other through thick and thin. After all, Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends,” Let this blasphemy never happen to our society again. Now I know that this may be a tall order, but where there is a will, there is a way!

Now, to address the need for there to be racial harmony. It’s simple. Does anyone actually want to live in disharmony? I definitely think not. It’s just that when you know everything is going well there is a feeling of satisfaction within that blossoms out. It’s a beautiful feeling. Our country needs it. In fact, our country deserves it. Malaysia is a blessed land. Deep down we all love it here. We love the food, the atmosphere and everything under the sun here. Yet, we still live today with a nagging feeling at the back of our minds, that our racial relations are less than acceptable. We love our country. Isn’t this the least we can do for our nation? Please understand that when I say country, I mean the land, the nation, not the institutions that make it up. I view our country as an entity by itself and we definitely have to appreciate all that Mother Malaysia has done for us. It’s our time to do something nice in return.

I would also like to touch on the subject of being a Malaysian race. Now, when I say this, I do not mean for you to forsake your own race. That would be preposterous. Each race in Malaysia is unique and special. Each race makes up a part of our own cultural rainbow. If a rainbow were to lose any one colour, it just won’t be as beautiful. The thing is, as a Malaysian community, we are unique in every sense of the word. You can travel to any part of the world and you cannot find a community and a society as unique as ours. With all our quirks, such as the ever ubiquitous “-lah” that we add to all our sentences, is all a part of our Malaysian lifestyle. And we should be proud of it, just as we are proud of our own race and heritage! As each race is unique, and we as a society as the fitting description of the word unique, I truly believe that we can call ourselves a Malaysian race, or ‘Bangsa Malaysia’! Carry the name with pride, my friends!

Remember, we are all in this together. Our actions in the present will determine the future of the nation and the well being of the generations to come. It’s time to take a stand, have hope and do the right thing! “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up,” – Anne Lamott. Hope and perseverance will get us to fulfil this dream. We owe our nation and the future generation this. And in the future, when they look back at our generation, they can say with pride that we did something great for our nation. We managed to give back the meaning of what it means to be a Malaysian. That, dear readers, would be something to be proud about.

In conclusion, I leave you with this beautiful quote by Martin Luther King Jr. “Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away, and that in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.”

Cheers =)


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Changed, I Have

I can't believe its been more than a year since my last post. Wow. A whole frikkin year. Thats 365 days. Gone. Just like that. Damn.

I guess time just flies, leaving you behind. One semester of the 2nd yr is over. In the blink of an eye. Its been one and a half years in UM. Things have changed. I don't know for better or worse, though.

Change. A terrifying word, if you ask me. So much has changed since I stepped into the university. Life's just not the same anymore. I'm not the same anymore. I still don't know if that's a good thing. Looking back, I miss my previous self. I think I do. Or have I changed so much, that I don't even give a damn? I don't know.

I know what I used to be. I don't intend on describing. If you have known me before I got into UM, you'll know the person I was, or rather, your perception of the person I was. The fact is, I should go back to what I was. But, for some reason, I don't.

I just don't. I'm reluctant. I can go back if I really wanted to. But the thing is I don't. In a twisted sense, I like the new me, even though I know the previous me was better. Lolx.

Ah, what the hell. I don't know if I'm going back to that person that I once was. Or am. Or will be again. Crap. Fact is, I know I need to go back. Maybe not a 100%. Maybe not even 50%. Maybe just 20%? This is so confusing. Or maybe its mutually exclusive, where I can only have one, and not the other at the same time.

Who knows? The person that I am now. Who cares? The person I once was.
What's the problem? Which side to take.

I used to have enthusiasm for whatever I did. Now, its just a hollow shell, echoing in the past. I just can't care less. Not inspired to do anything. Just taking each day as it goes by. That's all. Lol. Pathetic. I know. Haha. But the current me just doesn't care. I don't care.

No matter how much I try to go back, I'm just apathetic about the whole situation. I really want to, but more of me doesn't want to. Now, I have less worries, less stress, less problems(I think). Why would I want to put myself through all that all over again. I don't see a good reason. I just don't.

I realised the past means nothing, in the end. In the end, nothing matters. Nobody gives a damn when it all goes down. Nobody. So, why bother? Why bother indeed. I don't see a reason to bother anyway. All you get in the end, is nothing but bitter disappointment.

Thing is, I don't know if I'm living a lie. Maybe this is all a facade. Maybe it is all just some crap way of looking at things. Who knows what masks I put on everyday? Who knows what I really feel, and what I really want to be? Yeah, this is some sick twilight zone I'm purportedly stuck in. Stuck. Maybe the back door is open. Lol. That door might lead to a lot of worse things.

Lost in my mind, in my thoughts. Lost between two worlds. Two worlds that have no place for the other. Apathy rules one. The other is ruled ny a feeling that I have yet to genuinely feel in this past one and a half years. It's been so long, I can't even remember what it feels like.

Ah, whatever. Fact is, I'm stuck. With superglue. If I ever get out, there'll be some nasty skin tears. Or I can just sit here. In the glue. Now that doesn't sound too bad. Not at all. I mean, it would be a hassle to get out. And its just too troublesome.

Oh well, who cares anyway? Not me.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

It Has Been A While

Its been nearly 4 months...... since.......

  • I had time to post in my blog
  • I had time to read a book other than my subjects
  • I had time to relaxxxx
  • I had time to sleep and not give a care about tomorrow...
  • I had time not to give a damn about what assessments are around the corner....
  • I had time to just stare blankly at the ceiling....
  • I had time to just to do nothing.....
  • Lolx..... XD......
This is a random post... Felt like i had to blog.. LOLX!!!
Thats all folks!

29/11/2009 1.11pm

Friday, July 31, 2009

A Little Too Soon....

I dedicate this poem to the memory of my dear friend Tevindiran. May his soul rest in peace.

I watched you standing there,
On that morning filled with cool air,
With that cheeky grin and messy hair,
And the look on your face that said, 'I don't care'.

I can't believe that it was so fast,
I didn't know that a shroud was cast,
And that you being here wasn't meant to last,
Our time spent, like a blur, it's now in the past.

It was the night before Canteen Day 08,
That you helped me til it was very late,
And what a day it was, an unforgettable date,
The Fourth of April 2008.

You are always jovial and carefree,
To have that kind of attitude, it isn't easy,
You have what it takes to laugh in the face of adversity,
To put an ease on the stresses we face daily.

Ingenious you are, with crazy ideas,
Some that are plausible, yet some just plain weird,
But that is the person that you are, without any fears,
Maybe its a leaf out of your book that I should hold dear.

When we were down, you cheered us up,
With your jokes and antics, you just wouldn't stop,
Within minutes our worries, we let it all drop,
Our spirits lifted to the top.

The fact that you are not here,
Brings the sadness in my heart near,
But its not the sadness that I fear,
Rather, the lack of your jokes that we all hold dear.

You really are a true friend,
Stick with us through thick and thin,
Yet now there is a void to mend,
A space to be filled, this poem I pen.

My friend, you will be missed dearly,
This sorrow we must get through, hopefully,
For you liked seeing us laugh heartily,
And for that sake, we must hide this sorrow and be merry.

Our hopes and dreams we send,
That this emptiness we feel will somehow mend,
Our memories of the good times will last and have no end,
May peace be with you my dear friend.

Wherever you are dude, know that you will always be in our hearts, just as we know we will be in yours.

5.41 p.m.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hell's Kitchen


The great walls of flames crash mercilessly onto the maimed body that hangs limply from the lone mast that juts out of the ocean of flames that rages on, in a constant massive storm, a storm that never ceases to stop, a storm that only increases the intensity and the ferocity of the ocean. It feels like an eternity... It actually is. The condemned man, tied to the plank of wood that can never be burnt is silent. Silent as a graveyard. But, he is not dead. He is not allowed to die. If it were up to him, he would have given his life anytime to stop the endless vicious cycle of suffering and torture.

However, it is not his life to give. Each time the flames torch his body, the flesh is instantly evaporated off his skeleton. The pain is undescribable. in the next instant, the flesh is regenerated, but the pain remains. Then, the accursed body just waits for the next wall of flame to sear the flesh right of the bones. The body dies again.... and again. It will die until the end of time. The silent body screams inside. Its mouth to weak to move. It has been suffering for as long as he can remember. He has no past, no present, no future. Everything is a repetition. His entire life is one big circle of never ending pain, excruciating pain and death. He has died and returned so many times that he doesnt fear death anymore. He fears life for everytime he lives, he will die again.

The body. It was not always like that. However, the past that is too far away to remember cannot be thought about for it brings about pain on another level. Physical suffering is enough isn't it? But it isn't. For the body, he must suffer, he must pay for what he has done. He has to suffer on behalf of everybody, for everything is indirectly connected to him, therefore it is his fault, his dillema and his suffering, his torture. Not suffering would be even worse torture.... the guilt would be unbearable. The guilt of not being able to pay for his crimes would drive him insane. He would not have what it takes to suffer the pain of death every second, for every minute, for every hour, for every day, for every week, for every month, for every year of his life. But he wants to suffer. He is paying for his crimes and is being punished by himself. He deserves worse

A whip appears in the sky , followed by thousands more. The whips crack and lash onto the naked flesh, biting into the dead skin. Blood, flesh, muscles, and sinew drop to the flaming ocean of hellfire. This time, the body gains the strength to howl into the pitch black void that surrounds the ocean. The howls are soon drowned out by the cracking and lashing of the innumerable whips onto every square inch of that condemned body. But he wants it. Every new cut makes him feel satisfied. He doesn't only want more... he NEEDS more.

Swords, daggers, katanas, rapiers surround the nearly lifeless body, They stab the body with such force that the organs are ripped out of the shell that encase them. The blades pierce into the wounds left by the whips that still continue to crack with a ominous rhythm. The blades slice off the flesh, layer by layer, slowly.... very slowly, so that the maximum pain is felt by the dead receptors. The arms, legs are slowly chopped off. The eyeballs gouged out, the tongue severed, the nose cleanly sliced off, the lungs punctured, the heart skewered on a blade, the entrails spew out of the gastrointesinal cavity. But that still demands a lot more... The body demands more.... MORE!!!!

The external torture rages on...... The internal torture is on a much more terrifying level. Blue hot flames sear the inside of the body. Burning through memories and nerves, burning through feelings, ideas, emotions, leaving nothing left of the consciousness but just enough to become alive and dead the same time. The flames burn everything in existence. The inside is a barrren wasteland. Nothing can survive there, but the consciousness if left to rot and die..only to be reborn in that desolate place to suffer again again again before dying to complete the vicious cycle.

The body demands more! It needs to suffer. It wamts to. It HAS to. It will continue to do so till the end of time. It wants to.. it doesnt want to... It has to.... It doesnt have to... it needs to... it doesnt need to... This torture only adds to its list of continuous suffering, It will suffer all it wants. It will and it must and it just adores the suffering, hating it with a contempt that cannot be described in words or expressions or feelings. It has to be experienced. A PERMANENT EXPERIENCE FOR ETERNITY.

Want to experience Hell's Kitchen?!?!?!
Sure Sure!

Oh wait... wer'e already there....

14/6/2009 2.01 a.m.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Desicions, Desicions....

Well well well.... time HAS flown by... as usual... >.<....

Haven't blogged in ages... haha....Oh well....what to do.... Facebook... Gaming.... TV..... guess it just took my time all away... lol....

Speaking of time.... It always seems to catch up with you... things that you just want to put away.... things you do not want to think about.... cause at it does is mess your head up soooooo bad.....
I have been putting off the task, the ardurous task that i do not want to do.... the task that ultimately...will decide...what I do in the future.... lol.... THE DESICION!... what will it be?...what course shld i do?.... Medic.... Or Physics..... Oh well... i have one more week before I actually have to say yes or no to certain universities.... Maybe I shall put it off to then?... :P... 

HELL NO!.... Hell no... I can't do that.... and risk making the wrong desicion.... I really wish i didn't have to make this desicion.... It's so hard... it's just so damn hard to choose.... Heh... Guess I brought this upon myself... If I had chosen either Bio or Physics during Form 6... I would not have been in this quandry... Oh wait... cant blame me then... cos i did both subs.... cos i didn't want to make a desicion then.... Haha... IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE!... 

So.... Medicine?... Or Physics?... Which one?.... 
I just don't know.....

I know that when I was small... I always wanted to become a doctor... I don't know why though... lol.... Maybe its cos that's what everyone wanted to become... Lol.... Or maybe... it was because everyone held doctors in high regard... That I have to agree... Doctors are held in high regard.. They save lives.... Not one but thousands throughout their whole career.... Now thats a lot of lives.... It is an honourable profession.... 

The human body has always intrigued me... How the body systems function in collaboration and in perfect harmony to allow life to go on. And these mechanisms... these functioning of muscles, tendons, nerves, bones with utmost cohesiveness.... The human body is indeed truly amazing. Medicine is one of the hardest courses.... But hey... I have always liked challenges.. XP....  Yup... 

A doctor's life isn't easy... it isn't... First...its the 6 years of med school.... Where...books 4 to 5 times thicker than my STPM books must be 'digested'.. O.O...... heh.... Then... it's housemanship... >.<... I have heard 'horror stories'... 96 hours.... nonstop.... of work... ward duty... assisting in surgery.... and then ward duty..... and so on and so forth... You eat during the time taken to walk in between wards... lol.... lucky im a fast eater eh?... lol... But... that's the challenge isn't it?... The challenge... isn't whether you can stand to see blood... or whether you can cut up a cadaver... Its whether you can stand the life... The life of a doctor.... When you are in the operating theatre... People's lives are in your hand.... You have to make choices...split secind desicions... in the operating theatre... You need to be able to live with yourself if you were to lose a patient... That's life isn't it... No one is perfect... Not even the best doctor in the world can claim that.... (except!.. XD)

Of course... once you have specialized... and have become well established... wherever you are... either in government service... or on your own.... life gets better... lol... you dont have to spend that much time... you have more time...for yourself.... and for your family.. IF u somehow manage to have time for a relationship during those earlier days... hehe... Although...if you do diagnostic medicine... (like!)... you don't have to operate or anything... all you need.. is a pen..a whiteboard.... and a team of subordinates to bully :P.. Haha... well...guess that's all about doctors.... 

Ok... now to the other side... lolx.. Physics... It is the laws that govern our everyday life.. It explains everything that occurs around us... everything that happens can be explained by the laws of physics.... From the time of Galileo to the present, the science of physics has grown in leaps and bounds... to become a subject that I find very very very intriguing... Haha..... 

In physics...specifically... I have two fields that I would like to do... specifically...particle physics... and astronomy..... Why?... Cause its just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo interesting..!... Haha..
Finding the fundamental particles... The most basic structures that everything in this universe is made up of... Quantum mechanics... Whee!..... Just hearing the name energizes me :P Astronomy... Black holes, dark matter, The events before the Big Bang... O.O.... The future of our universe... The moment of creation?... Haha...  Particle Physics... Quarks.... Hadrons.... Neutrinos.... Photons.... Bosons... Mesons..... Muons... XD

However, if I were to do this... I know I cannot find a job here... in Malaysia... I will have to go to CERN! Haha...that is in Europe... kinda far eh?... Oh well.. If that's the way it is... I will have to go... No choice about that... lol.... I know that I want to discover many things... I want to be able to ermm... ermm... create cold fusion?.. hahah.... or maybe.... discover the most fundamental particle in the universe... or maybe the Higgs Boson!... Hehe... I want to go and see the LHC at CERN!... its cool.... to whizz particles at the speed of light.. to create antimatter?... (This is the Angels and Demons movie talking... blame Dan Brown... about the antimatter part)... Haha.. although... it would be cool.. to actually  do so.. XD... 

Although... as scientists... life isnt that easy as well.. You have to beg... everyday.. for grants... from governments.. to carry out research... It isnt easy to stay up awake all night...looking through telescopes... at the starry sky... although... it would be amazing to actually get a look at the amazing light show that goes on at night... lol.... It also isn't a job that gurantees anything.. I might not discover anything at my lifetime.. haha... Its always luck...when you work at the frontiers of science... 


So.... haha...those are the fields.. that I want to do..the professions that I dream about... I like both fields.. and... I don't know what to do.. I only have one week... to decide..... Its no use talking to anyone... It only makes the desicion harder... I dont know... I want to make myself happy.... with my choice... myself...and everybody else... This choice.... will eventually determine my FUTURE... what im going to be doing for the REST OF MY LIFE...... the rest of my life... Should I be in a hospital... at an observatory or at CERN...? I just cant make up my mind.... And yea... its HELL.... Why does it have to be so hard?.... 


It reminds me of a song in the 90's... lol.... Remember 'Flying Without Wings'? Westlife?...
Those songs...that they sang...had meaning... real meaning.. inside of it...
Yea...and in 'Flying Without Wings' there is a verse... that goes....

So impossible
As they may seem
You've got to fight
For every dream
Cause whose to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

So...what do I do?... Do them Both?!?!?!... Haha... Actually... that's not that bad an idea... Although.... the next question comes... Medic first?... Or Physics first?... Haix... Here we go again.... XP

2.39 a.m.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Don't Ever Judge A Book By Its Cover

It would be an absolute crime not to blog about this video i got on YouTube.

This is one of the latest editions of Britain's Got Talent.

Lol..words can't describe the video.. Just watch it... hahaha....
You can see it at


How was it eh?.... Everyone was against her.... They judged her by her looks... Lol.... Honestly...the first time I watched it.... I thought it was one of the ones that just were for laughs.. I had NOOOO idea that she could actually sing....
Lol... Just watch the judges reaction eh?.... hahaha... look at SIMON COWELL 4.01 - 4.05 ... Have u ever seen him with such a reaction?!??!?!?... HELL NO!!!!..... I dont tink he has ever EVER given that kind of an expression AT ALL!!!!!

It just goes to show... you should nvr judge a book by its cover.... A person is what they are inside... NOT what they look on the outside.... It was a MOVING video to watch... Hahahaha.....

Neways.... one heck of a video..Hope she wins.. XD



21/4/2009 - 4.45 p.m.