CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Friday, July 31, 2009

A Little Too Soon....

I dedicate this poem to the memory of my dear friend Tevindiran. May his soul rest in peace.

I watched you standing there,
On that morning filled with cool air,
With that cheeky grin and messy hair,
And the look on your face that said, 'I don't care'.

I can't believe that it was so fast,
I didn't know that a shroud was cast,
And that you being here wasn't meant to last,
Our time spent, like a blur, it's now in the past.

It was the night before Canteen Day 08,
That you helped me til it was very late,
And what a day it was, an unforgettable date,
The Fourth of April 2008.

You are always jovial and carefree,
To have that kind of attitude, it isn't easy,
You have what it takes to laugh in the face of adversity,
To put an ease on the stresses we face daily.

Ingenious you are, with crazy ideas,
Some that are plausible, yet some just plain weird,
But that is the person that you are, without any fears,
Maybe its a leaf out of your book that I should hold dear.

When we were down, you cheered us up,
With your jokes and antics, you just wouldn't stop,
Within minutes our worries, we let it all drop,
Our spirits lifted to the top.

The fact that you are not here,
Brings the sadness in my heart near,
But its not the sadness that I fear,
Rather, the lack of your jokes that we all hold dear.

You really are a true friend,
Stick with us through thick and thin,
Yet now there is a void to mend,
A space to be filled, this poem I pen.

My friend, you will be missed dearly,
This sorrow we must get through, hopefully,
For you liked seeing us laugh heartily,
And for that sake, we must hide this sorrow and be merry.

Our hopes and dreams we send,
That this emptiness we feel will somehow mend,
Our memories of the good times will last and have no end,
May peace be with you my dear friend.

Wherever you are dude, know that you will always be in our hearts, just as we know we will be in yours.

~JoNamasoo~
31/7/2009
5.41 p.m.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hell's Kitchen

WARNING : THIS POST CONTAINS GORE OF SEVERE PROPORTIONS. DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU CANNOT TAKE IT !

The great walls of flames crash mercilessly onto the maimed body that hangs limply from the lone mast that juts out of the ocean of flames that rages on, in a constant massive storm, a storm that never ceases to stop, a storm that only increases the intensity and the ferocity of the ocean. It feels like an eternity... It actually is. The condemned man, tied to the plank of wood that can never be burnt is silent. Silent as a graveyard. But, he is not dead. He is not allowed to die. If it were up to him, he would have given his life anytime to stop the endless vicious cycle of suffering and torture.

However, it is not his life to give. Each time the flames torch his body, the flesh is instantly evaporated off his skeleton. The pain is undescribable. in the next instant, the flesh is regenerated, but the pain remains. Then, the accursed body just waits for the next wall of flame to sear the flesh right of the bones. The body dies again.... and again. It will die until the end of time. The silent body screams inside. Its mouth to weak to move. It has been suffering for as long as he can remember. He has no past, no present, no future. Everything is a repetition. His entire life is one big circle of never ending pain, excruciating pain and death. He has died and returned so many times that he doesnt fear death anymore. He fears life for everytime he lives, he will die again.

The body. It was not always like that. However, the past that is too far away to remember cannot be thought about for it brings about pain on another level. Physical suffering is enough isn't it? But it isn't. For the body, he must suffer, he must pay for what he has done. He has to suffer on behalf of everybody, for everything is indirectly connected to him, therefore it is his fault, his dillema and his suffering, his torture. Not suffering would be even worse torture.... the guilt would be unbearable. The guilt of not being able to pay for his crimes would drive him insane. He would not have what it takes to suffer the pain of death every second, for every minute, for every hour, for every day, for every week, for every month, for every year of his life. But he wants to suffer. He is paying for his crimes and is being punished by himself. He deserves worse

A whip appears in the sky , followed by thousands more. The whips crack and lash onto the naked flesh, biting into the dead skin. Blood, flesh, muscles, and sinew drop to the flaming ocean of hellfire. This time, the body gains the strength to howl into the pitch black void that surrounds the ocean. The howls are soon drowned out by the cracking and lashing of the innumerable whips onto every square inch of that condemned body. But he wants it. Every new cut makes him feel satisfied. He doesn't only want more... he NEEDS more.

Swords, daggers, katanas, rapiers surround the nearly lifeless body, They stab the body with such force that the organs are ripped out of the shell that encase them. The blades pierce into the wounds left by the whips that still continue to crack with a ominous rhythm. The blades slice off the flesh, layer by layer, slowly.... very slowly, so that the maximum pain is felt by the dead receptors. The arms, legs are slowly chopped off. The eyeballs gouged out, the tongue severed, the nose cleanly sliced off, the lungs punctured, the heart skewered on a blade, the entrails spew out of the gastrointesinal cavity. But that still demands a lot more... The body demands more.... MORE!!!!

The external torture rages on...... The internal torture is on a much more terrifying level. Blue hot flames sear the inside of the body. Burning through memories and nerves, burning through feelings, ideas, emotions, leaving nothing left of the consciousness but just enough to become alive and dead the same time. The flames burn everything in existence. The inside is a barrren wasteland. Nothing can survive there, but the consciousness if left to rot and die..only to be reborn in that desolate place to suffer again again again before dying to complete the vicious cycle.

The body demands more! It needs to suffer. It wamts to. It HAS to. It will continue to do so till the end of time. It wants to.. it doesnt want to... It has to.... It doesnt have to... it needs to... it doesnt need to... This torture only adds to its list of continuous suffering, It will suffer all it wants. It will and it must and it just adores the suffering, hating it with a contempt that cannot be described in words or expressions or feelings. It has to be experienced. A PERMANENT EXPERIENCE FOR ETERNITY.

Want to experience Hell's Kitchen?!?!?!
Sure Sure!

Oh wait... wer'e already there....

~JoNamasoo~
14/6/2009 2.01 a.m.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Desicions, Desicions....

Well well well.... time HAS flown by... as usual... >.<....

Haven't blogged in ages... haha....Oh well....what to do.... Facebook... Gaming.... TV..... guess it just took my time all away... lol....

Speaking of time.... It always seems to catch up with you... things that you just want to put away.... things you do not want to think about.... cause at it does is mess your head up soooooo bad.....
I have been putting off the task, the ardurous task that i do not want to do.... the task that ultimately...will decide...what I do in the future.... lol.... THE DESICION!... what will it be?...what course shld i do?.... Medic.... Or Physics..... Oh well... i have one more week before I actually have to say yes or no to certain universities.... Maybe I shall put it off to then?... :P... 

HELL NO!.... Hell no... I can't do that.... and risk making the wrong desicion.... I really wish i didn't have to make this desicion.... It's so hard... it's just so damn hard to choose.... Heh... Guess I brought this upon myself... If I had chosen either Bio or Physics during Form 6... I would not have been in this quandry... Oh wait... cant blame me then... cos i did both subs.... cos i didn't want to make a desicion then.... Haha... IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE!... 

So.... Medicine?... Or Physics?... Which one?.... 
.
.
.
I just don't know.....
__________________________________________________________

MEDICINE
I know that when I was small... I always wanted to become a doctor... I don't know why though... lol.... Maybe its cos that's what everyone wanted to become... Lol.... Or maybe... it was because everyone held doctors in high regard... That I have to agree... Doctors are held in high regard.. They save lives.... Not one but thousands throughout their whole career.... Now thats a lot of lives.... It is an honourable profession.... 

The human body has always intrigued me... How the body systems function in collaboration and in perfect harmony to allow life to go on. And these mechanisms... these functioning of muscles, tendons, nerves, bones with utmost cohesiveness.... The human body is indeed truly amazing. Medicine is one of the hardest courses.... But hey... I have always liked challenges.. XP....  Yup... 

A doctor's life isn't easy... it isn't... First...its the 6 years of med school.... Where...books 4 to 5 times thicker than my STPM books must be 'digested'.. O.O...... heh.... Then... it's housemanship... >.<... I have heard 'horror stories'... 96 hours.... nonstop.... of work... ward duty... assisting in surgery.... and then ward duty..... and so on and so forth... You eat during the time taken to walk in between wards... lol.... lucky im a fast eater eh?... lol... But... that's the challenge isn't it?... The challenge... isn't whether you can stand to see blood... or whether you can cut up a cadaver... Its whether you can stand the life... The life of a doctor.... When you are in the operating theatre... People's lives are in your hand.... You have to make choices...split secind desicions... in the operating theatre... You need to be able to live with yourself if you were to lose a patient... That's life isn't it... No one is perfect... Not even the best doctor in the world can claim that.... (except dr.house!.. XD)

Of course... once you have specialized... and have become well established... wherever you are... either in government service... or on your own.... life gets better... lol... you dont have to spend that much time... you have more time...for yourself.... and for your family.. IF u somehow manage to have time for a relationship during those earlier days... hehe... Although...if you do diagnostic medicine... (like dr.house!)... you don't have to operate or anything... all you need.. is a pen..a whiteboard.... and a team of subordinates to bully :P.. Haha... well...guess that's all about doctors.... 

PHYSICS
Ok... now to the other side... lolx.. Physics... It is the laws that govern our everyday life.. It explains everything that occurs around us... everything that happens can be explained by the laws of physics.... From the time of Galileo to the present, the science of physics has grown in leaps and bounds... to become a subject that I find very very very intriguing... Haha..... 

In physics...specifically... I have two fields that I would like to do... specifically...particle physics... and astronomy..... Why?... Cause its just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo interesting..!... Haha..
Finding the fundamental particles... The most basic structures that everything in this universe is made up of... Quantum mechanics... Whee!..... Just hearing the name energizes me :P Astronomy... Black holes, dark matter, The events before the Big Bang... O.O.... The future of our universe... The moment of creation?... Haha...  Particle Physics... Quarks.... Hadrons.... Neutrinos.... Photons.... Bosons... Mesons..... Muons... XD

However, if I were to do this... I know I cannot find a job here... in Malaysia... I will have to go to CERN! Haha...that is in Europe... kinda far eh?... Oh well.. If that's the way it is... I will have to go... No choice about that... lol.... I know that I want to discover many things... I want to be able to ermm... ermm... create cold fusion?.. hahah.... or maybe.... discover the most fundamental particle in the universe... or maybe the Higgs Boson!... Hehe... I want to go and see the LHC at CERN!... its cool.... to whizz particles at the speed of light.. to create antimatter?... (This is the Angels and Demons movie talking... blame Dan Brown... about the antimatter part)... Haha.. although... it would be cool.. to actually  do so.. XD... 

Although... as scientists... life isnt that easy as well.. You have to beg... everyday.. for grants... from governments.. to carry out research... It isnt easy to stay up awake all night...looking through telescopes... at the starry sky... although... it would be amazing to actually get a look at the amazing light show that goes on at night... lol.... It also isn't a job that gurantees anything.. I might not discover anything at all...in my lifetime.. haha... Its always luck...when you work at the frontiers of science... 

__________________________________________________________

So.... haha...those are the fields.. that I want to do..the professions that I dream about... I like both fields.. and... I don't know what to do.. I only have one week... to decide..... Its no use talking to anyone... It only makes the desicion harder... I dont know... I want to make myself happy.... with my choice... myself...and everybody else... This choice.... will eventually determine my FUTURE... what im going to be doing for the REST OF MY LIFE...... the rest of my life... Should I be in a hospital... at an observatory or at CERN...? I just cant make up my mind.... And yea... its HELL.... Why does it have to be so hard?.... 

Haha....

It reminds me of a song in the 90's... lol.... Remember 'Flying Without Wings'?...by Westlife?...
Those songs...that they sang...had meaning... real meaning.. inside of it...
Yea...and in 'Flying Without Wings' there is a verse... that goes....

So impossible
As they may seem
You've got to fight
For every dream
Cause whose to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

So...what do I do?... Do them Both?!?!?!... Haha... Actually... that's not that bad an idea... Although.... the next question comes... Medic first?... Or Physics first?... Haix... Here we go again.... XP

~JoNamasoo~
21/5/2009
2.39 a.m.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Don't Ever Judge A Book By Its Cover

It would be an absolute crime not to blog about this video i got on YouTube.

This is one of the latest editions of Britain's Got Talent.

Lol..words can't describe the video.. Just watch it... hahaha....
You can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

OK!

How was it eh?.... Everyone was against her.... They judged her by her looks... Lol.... Honestly...the first time I watched it.... I thought it was one of the ones that just were for laughs.. I had NOOOO idea that she could actually sing....
Lol... Just watch the judges reaction eh?.... hahaha... look at SIMON COWELL 4.01 - 4.05 ... Have u ever seen him with such a reaction?!??!?!?... HELL NO!!!!..... I dont tink he has ever EVER given that kind of an expression AT ALL!!!!!

It just goes to show... you should nvr judge a book by its cover.... A person is what they are inside... NOT what they look on the outside.... It was a MOVING video to watch... Hahahaha.....

Neways.... one heck of a video..Hope she wins.. XD

Ciaozzzz

~JoNamasoo~

21/4/2009 - 4.45 p.m.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

You Can Check Out Any Time You Like, But You Can Never Leave

The title is taken from my most favourite song in the whole world...
HOTEL CALIFORNIA - THE EAGLES

It is the last line of the last verse saying that...
'You can check out any time you like... but you can never leave"...
this last line is then followed by one of the most AMAZING guitar solos that there has ever been created... a complete 3 minute nerve wrecking, guitar shredding solo that can be listened to AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN... u get the drift eh?... LOL

Anyways... im not gonna blog abt the solo.. haha..if u wanna lsiten to it... get onto youtube..and prepare to get ur brains blown out.. lol...

What i wanna blog abt is the last line of the last verse....
YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANY TIME YOU LIKE... BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE....

I believe that this line pretty much summarizes any experience that we have ever had....
Whatever that we have ever been through, let it be a happy, sad, emo, or whatever type of experience.... will and is always imprinted onto the very fabric of our mind and soul... And... the printing of it... is done so well.... it can never be removed... eh...unless u hv got amnesia or sum kinda memory erasing disease....but lets just confine it to the best case scenario eh?...

You can check out any time you like...
When you are busy... doing sumthing else... either working... or just relaxing..as in..when ur mind is focused on something... you zone out from your experiences... bcos...ur getting new ones... from whatever you are doing... so... you are checking out from you past experiences.... in order to acquire new ones... eh?...

But you can never leave...
However, thats always...ALWAYS... only temporary.... in the end..you can never leave your memories.. because..in the end..you always ALWAYS go back to your memories.. especially when you are all alone.. in the dark... thats all you can ever turn to..... thats all you ever actually own ...... everything else under the sun doesnt actually belong to you at all.. sooner or later..its gonna be taken away or its gonna be given away...... like everything else in life is.... In the end...all you have are the memories..... its always the memories....
And this pool of memories... can be one heck of a calming, soothing hot water spring...(If its happy memories).. or a deep abyss of a cesspool with mruky brown water.... (If its sad and emo memories)... but hey... You can never leave eh?... LIVE WITH IT... embrace this fact.... know that in the end... your memories of everyone and everything.... u have nothing else... but that.. for it is one with you....

So..in conclusion...
NICE LAST LINE BY THE EAGLES... *standing ovation* XD XD
Nice way to summarize all of life's experiences... lol...

Ciaozzz
~JoNamasoo~
18/4/2009 3.25pm

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Earth Hour?!?!

Hey....
About this... "earth hour"....
Whats the big deal?...
One hour of electricity saved.... is like a drop in the ocean...no wait...i have a better simile...
like dropping a quark in the ocean... For those of you who dont knw what quarks are... They are currently the smallest particles known to man.... smaller than a proton... so its VERY VERY SMALL!!!!..... theres no difference whatsoever!!!!

Seriously... one hour of lights out..isnt gonna make a difference.... All i see is that it makes it much easier for thieves, robbers and crooks to enter your house.... imagine...they have ONE WHOLE HOUR!!!....to get in and out mostly undetected....

AND...one more thing...
yea...ok...ppl off their lights and all..fine.. but DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD ACTUALLY STAY AT HOME?????
nope... and that makes it much more easier for the robbers to get in eh?....
And...when they go out...they are using... cars...motorbikes.... and vehicles...that emit POLLUTANTS!!!...... so....with more people on the road..... emitting more pollutants... LOL..u would actually have done more damage to the environment..than you would if u had stayed home and watched tv with all your lights on eh???

OH!....the irony...lolxxx.... XD

I mean cm on lar....
turning ur lights off...?....
nope...that doesnt however repair the damage alrdi done....
And the damage alrdi done...is a domino effect.... which means... IT GETS WORSE every yr....
And no matter how much we reduce pollution now...it will not make a difference!
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO....is CLEAN UP THE MESS WE HAVE MADE....
and hopefully.... HOPEFULLY.... it wont be too late.... hopefully...

You know... scientists estimate the world sea levels to rise 5m in the next century.....
Do you know what that means...?.... A large part of New York would be underwater... Wall Street would crumble... The largest US economic area would be down... And...please tell me.... what happens when Wall Street crumbles???

Lol... LOL.... u knw the economic crisis that we are having nw... well let me put it simply... it would seem like nothing...compared to whats coming.... Wall Street falls.... The entire economy of the WORLD falls.....
Why?.... cos all currencies are based on the US dollar.... so...when it topples... so does the entire world economy... GOT IT?!?!??! And then?.....what happens?...
Knowing humanity..... WAR!!!.... war for food...war for land... there will be no peace... and with all the nukes that countries have..... it will be total obliteration...total chaos...total destruction...

It Will Herald The End Of The World..... As We Know It... and oh yea..one more fact... the last time the earth's temperature... was this hot.. the earth was flooded.... OK?.... And.... if it hasnt happened....that can only mean one thing... IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.....

And yea.... speaking of cleaning up the mess.....???....
I dont think anyone...any country is actually doing anything do clean up anything!....
You can sign all the Kyoto Protocols u want.... heck... US signed...bt the protocol isnt binding on the US unless ratified.... You can sign all you want... Sign everything.. LEAVE Graffiti on the UN buildings if u need to show something... Bt wats the use of a damn signature..... WATS THE USE of a signature..... unless you do something in accordance to the protocol.... THERE IS NO USE....

Oh yea..... saving the 'best' for last...actually its kinda the worst... XP

With the Antarctic Ice Shelfs on a very very very dangerous situation...... The prediction of 5m in a century... could prove to be very very optimistic... ... O.O..... in face.... it could be so.... in a matter of...years...or decades.....yes... IN OUR LIFETIME....
You know..all this while... we have been just thinking.....
'oh..its nt gonna happen in our lifetime'... and thats why we are complacent....

Well then... i suggest doing something about it eh?... Bt what can we do...
to clean our environment...yes we can clean...bt what about repairing damage that has alrdi been wrought on Mother Earth...... HELLO!!!!.... A BIG HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER!!!!... RIGHT ABOVE ANTARTICA!!!..... WHICH IS IF U HV FORGOTTEN.... THE PLACE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION!!!!.....

I shall be frank.... you need money... billions of US dollars.... to even research into repairing the ozone layer..... yea...and assuming we do manage to repair it... lolx... it will just continue to degrade as we continue to emit all those pollutants... Bt thats going too far... We must see if governments are WILLING to spend that much to repair the ozone first........for as we know... they either spend too much money building weapons of mass destruction.... XD...or filling their own pockets???...XP....

So.... In the end.... one hour of lights off?.... XP....good luck with changing the future with that.. LOL!!!!.... I mean...if it the end of the world is coming soon... at least enjoy yourself... by turning on your lights and fan and AIR CON!!!!.... and reading this post!!! XD

Umm... and one more thing.. it's all gonna end the EARTH is gonna perish people.... either.... a BIG RIP... a BIG CRUNCH... bt thats going to far...when the sun dies...we all die too... XD... and can we trust man with instellar travel?... we'll propbably find another poor little rock out there to live on....and pollute it as well eh?... XD

I shall now wait for the onslaught and barrage of comments claiming i am a pessimist... bla bla..traitor to the human race... bla bla... murderer of nature.... XD

I say : BRING IT ON!... I havent had a good debate in a while either... MAKE MY DAY!!! XD... and yea.... call me all you want.. IN THE END... you have to face the facts.... so FACE IT!!! FACE IT!!!!

Man...that felt good... XD XD

Ciaozz...
~JoNamasoo~
29/3/2009 - 8.15p.m.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

So Close, and yet So Far

Your breathing gets laboured
You stare at your watch
And as your vision gets blurred
You feel there's a catch

For the wait is murder
You feel the numbing pain
It's worse cos you're the sufferer
And you wait to see if you gain

With held breaths
And laboured steps
You trudge slowly
And yet you want it over quickly

Your heart is on overdrive
As it beats wildly
You wonder if you can survive
This feeling, is it for eternity?

Questions are asked
You yearn for an answer
Hoping it will be the one you want
And the adrenaline rushes faster

The painful wait is torturous
Seconds are like years
And hope keeps you adventurous
You know you have your chances

No matter how slim the chance
You take it with hope
As you wait, your heart will dance
You wonder if it can cope

The emotional stress intensifies
Answers have finally arrived
Will the answers justify
The hope that has until now survived ?

The answers slip through the brain
Yet the mind has not received it
It anxiously waits withstanding the pain
Of waiting that tears it bit by bit

The message is delivered finally
It seems like a total eternity
The placid face breaks into a SMILEY =)
It is just as you hoped it would be

Euphoria rushes throughout your being
Waves of relief crash over the sands of despair
And you are finally seeing
The answer about that which you oh so care

The answer is a joyous one
And you cant help but grin
Your face radiant as the sun
You yell, "It's in the bag!.. It's in!!"

That is only one part
Of a story yet to be told
What about the story that can crush a heart?
Read on, don't fear, be bold

The message is sent across
The mind receives it
Your heart is at a loss
You failed to achieve it

The hope that once was
Is now no more
Tucked away in a remote cabinet labeled "IT WAS"
And the waves of hope crash no more on the shore

But what can you do
You ask "Is it too late?"
Simply put, it never is too late, NO!
For only you can change your own fate

Believe, and persevere
Fan the flames of hope
Ensure that you heart is always sincere
And everything will be in your scope

To never give up
To never give in
Hope one day to hold the cup
To achieve victory, to finally win!

Hopes and dreams never die
If you need to, wish on a falling star
Put your heart and soul into it, you will touch the sky
And you never have to say, "So Close, and yet So Far"

JoNamasoo
11/3/2009
1.37 am